Challenges in Mentoring

Time Management

Time Management Strategies for Professionals:

One common challenge that we hear all the time in the mentoring space is time management. I don't have enough time to reach out to my mentor or my mentee. I have so many things going on, um, we're all very busy. We know that. We all have so many things to do and so many things to accomplish and not enough hours in the day.

So let's take some time today to talk through a few time management strategies to hopefully make this process a little bit simpler and more enjoyable for you and your connection.

Here's some keys for time management. First off let's talk about making a list of tasks that you need to complete.

At the end of the day or the week, one thing that I do to help me manage all of the things that I'm juggling is to send an email note with the pending items from the day before or the prior week so that I can start my day with that email thinking, okay, these are the things that I need to accomplish throughout my day. This can be the start of your to-do list. You can continue to add through this throughout the week, either continuing to send yourself an email or having a list somewhere else that you can add items to.

You can also look through and ask, what are these non-negotiable tasks that I know I have to complete today? Knowing your bandwidth, how many of those items can you realistically complete either today or throughout the week, and then you can kind of organize those into various tasks that you need to complete each day. So as you are kind of separating those out into different days, you are inherently prioritizing your tasks.

So what needs to be completed first, what can wait until a little bit later, prioritizing tasks is the best way to maximize your efficiency.

Because you are thinking through, this is the due date, this is my timeline, this is what I need to start working on these items.

If it takes five minutes to complete, go ahead and complete the task rather than going back to your list, opening it up, and then actually writing it down.

Sometimes by the time you write down the task, you could have already had it done. So if it that's typically my rule, if it takes five minutes or less, go ahead and complete the task now.

Next up is blocking your time. This has been a huge game changer for me. So set aside appointments in your calendar for tasks that will take more time.

So whether that is preparing a presentation or whatever the case may be, actually set aside some time in your calendar to work on those tasks as if they're an appointment and give them as much importance as an appointment would have and that will help you be more productive as well.

I also set reminders in my calendar at 15-minute intervals so it kind of serves as my checklist throughout the day and that has been very helpful.

And then as you're blocking your time, make sure that you're color coding these items so that you don't get confused as to what is a meeting and then what is simply a reminder or a calendar block for you to accomplish some of those action items.

Next, we'll talk about multitasking. Have you ever had a day when you're busy all day, but you feel like at the end of the day you didn't really accomplish anything?

It's probably because you are multitasking and juggling too many items at the same time. It's really important that you're intentional with your time.

So, if a Slack message comes through or a team's message comes through. And you can see a little snippet of what it is that's being said.

Is this something that you need to stop what you're doing to respond to right away? Or is it something that can wait a few minutes until you finish your thought?

If you can wait a few minutes, finish what you're working on, and then adjust your thinking and kind of your space to accommodate that request or answer that question, that will keep you from bouncing from item to item and will ensure that you're actually completing the tasks they hand.

It's also very important to state organized. So decide on a system, think through these different things that I've suggested. Does any of that sound like it could work for you?

If so, implement the system and stick to it. Make sure that you are sending those emails using a Google to-do list or even old-fashioned pencil and paper.

Whatever it is that's going to support you in getting things done, that's the most important thing. But actually following through and continuing to use that system is going to ensure your success.

And finally, make sure that you're planning breaks and rewards throughout your day. You are not a machine. There's only so much that you can accomplish and so much that you can focus on for within a certain amount of time.

So make sure to stand up during some water, take breaks for meals, put those blocks on your calendar for a few recurring breaks per day and then take a walk around the block, stretch a bit, research actually shows that whenever you get your heart rate up for the next hour afterwards, you're more focused. So make sure that you're taking time to do that throughout the day and you'll see your productivity increase even more.

Blue Labels: Scheduled meetings
Green Labels: Reminders to check Qooper, work on action items, etc.
Yellow Labels: Lunch break
Purple Labels: Time blocks for tasks
Orange Labels: Mentorship meeting (could also be blue depending on your preference)

The trick here is to follow through with your time blocks and give them as much merit as a meeting time. Without follow through, taking the time to organize and set up your calendar alone will not help you in managing your time.

Time Management + Mentorship Video Transcript

Now that we've talked through time management basics, let's talk about time management specifically with mentorship and how to make the most of your time and make sure that you are allocating the time that you want to spend to the program.

So, first off, I recommend setting up recurring meetings with your mentor connection. So choose with your connection. Maybe the first Monday of the month at two o'clock is best for your schedule.

Setup that time recurring throughout the duration of the program. And of course, you can change that cadence to whatever frequency you want it to be.

So if you want to meet bi-weekly, if you want to meet monthly, you can have that conversation and then set up that recurring meeting so that it's there and ready for you.

You don't have to worry about going through the process of scheduling every time. You can also schedule recurring reminder blocks on your calendar, like we talked about in the last session, where basically it's just a reminder for you to log into Qooper, check in with your connection, just a quick message,

Hey, how's everything going? Kind of between your meetings could be very helpful, and then time to complete any pending action items.

So I would recommend setting this up one to two times a week, just for that 15-minute duration, and then you'll be able to be very engaged with your mentee or mentor connection and you can also plan this very intentionally so that and strategically so that if there is a quiet time through the day or

The week where you have a little more time to invest and your calendar is open, you can schedule these time blocks during this time and actually be able to follow through with those time commitments.

Of course, if something comes up you can also adjust the time as needed. So you have a meeting at that time, simply move that calendar reminder to a little earlier in the day or a little later or to another day that week.

It's very simple within most scheduling software. So you can always do that as well. And then just general good practice is to put your team's slack or whatever management system on do not disturb during meetings with your connection so that you aren't getting pinged every few minutes.

You can really focus in on your connection and building that relationship so these are time management best practices and thank you all for listening.

Boundaries in Mentorship

Boundaries in Mentorship-1 Video Transcript

They say that conflict is simply a gap in expectation, rather than waiting for conflict to arise, you can have a conversation regarding boundaries with your mentoring connection to make sure that you don't overstep through any of your conversations.

Let's start with determining a few things that your mentors are not. Mentors are not therapists. It can be really easy to to blur these lines of support versus next level and kind of mental health.

So unfortunately, many of our mentors do not have this background in psychology or mental health and counseling. So try to be mindful not to rely on them too much for these mental health concerns.

Many of your organizations will have staff that this is their primary function is to support you in this way. And if not, you can always lean on your mentor or your manager to maybe refer some mental health resources for you.

Mentors are extremely knowledgeable. They have all kinds of experience. However, there may be times that they need to seek guidance or support to ensure the best support for you as a mentee.

So be patient with them. They are a fountain of knowledge, but sometimes they need to do a little bit of digging to be able to support you in the best way.

And lastly, our mentors are not administrative assistance. So although mentors will connect you as a mentee with your various resources, It is your responsibility to follow up with those tasks when needed.

Now, for mentors, mentees are not your personal or administrative assistants either. Mentees are here to learn from you as the mentor.

So while mentees may take some administrative tasks through your connection like scheduling meetings and other items like that. You should not be offloading any professional duties or tasks onto their plate that you should be taking care of within your role.

Also, try to avoid using mentees as a sounding board as well. Mentees enroll in these programs to learn from you as their mentor, your experience, and your expertise within your field.

You should refrain from leaning on your mentee to express any frustrations within the company with some colleagues or leadership because part of the goal of these programs is to increase morale.

And so if you're airing some dirty laundry, that could be counterproductive. So now that we have started to uncover what mentees and mentors are not, let's talk about what a positive mentoring experience should look like and some guides to setting boundaries.

Boundaries in Mentorship-2 Video Transcript

Through the duration of your mentor connection, it is totally normal for you to create a more personal connection with your match.

However, although you do have a bit of a personal connection after ongoing meetings, it is vital that you continue to have a professional tone and scope throughout your meetings.

In addition to keeping it professional, it's also typical that your mentoring connections and your meetings should always leave you feeling empowered.

The best mentoring sessions will leave you feeling lighter, the sense of joy, accomplishment and knowing that you're taking steps toward your goals.

Mentoring connections should also be mutually beneficial, meaning that this experience should be rewarding for both mentors and mentees.

If you feel like you're heavy or worn down after leaving a session, try to assess why that is and if maybe a conversation regarding boundaries would be helpful for you and your connection.

All mentoring connections should also be inclusive. You should always see and value your connection for their whole self, celebrating their identities, their strengths, and perspectives that they can bring toward the connection.

And finally, mentoring connections should always be respectful. Respect is foundational to any conversation or meaningful interaction in or out of the workplace.

So, let that be a goal to always let respect be a driving force behind every word that you speak.

Boundaries in Mentorship-3 Video Transcript

Setting boundaries doesn't have to be scary. It doesn't have to be this conversation of conflict. It doesn't have to be pointed.

It can be very indirect, and yet your connections still get the point that we need to move on from this topic of conversation.

So, here are a few items to help you get started in directing some of those conversations. First, share what you want out of the connection.

You can redirect conversations that aren't centered around your goals and make sure that you're spending ample time addressing your concerns and working toward the goals that you set in the beginning of the program.

You can also identify any areas that you're not willing to talk about. This can be something that you do ahead of your meetings.

Think through, do I really want to talk about my family? Do I really want to talk about XYZ area of my personal life?

At the end of the day, none of those topics are anyone's business. You are welcome to share whatever you want to share within your own journey of mentorship and what your connection is asking or feels comfortable sharing as well.

but you are not under any obligation to answer any question simply because it's asked. So you can always say I'm not going to talk about this and if it comes up you can simply redirect the conversation.

That's where this preparation in creating a statement for a conversation in case this would arise is very helpful. That way you're not caught off guard, you're prepared and you have a statement ready to redirect if needed.

Something that you can consider using and kind of tweaking to fit your own voice is thank you so much for asking, but I would prefer to keep our conversations professional.

It can be that simple. It doesn't have to be anything pointed. Rather, that should be enough to steer the conversation back to your goals and the scope of your mentor connection.

You can also follow up with a topic that you are comfortable speaking about or like I said just kind of redirecting back to centering around your goals.

It's important to remember that practice makes perfect here. The first time that you set boundaries you might feel a little uncomfortable and that's okay but push through it, know your limits, and then it's totally acceptable for you to enact those within your conversations.

Remember to honor all codes of conduct within your organization throughout your mentorship connection as this is a professionally sanctioned program.

If your connection does or says something that makes you feel uncomfortable or question their intentions, reach out to your Program Administrator.

Unresponsive Mentees

One of the most common challenges that we hear in Mentorship Connections is that Mentees become inactive. Here are some tips and tricks to elicit response and reengagement within the program.

Mentor Training: Engaging Inactive or Unresponsive Mentees — Video Transcript

We've all been there. You have submitted your profile, you completed all of the questions, so did your connection, and then you get matched within Qooper. You start walking through all of the steps, following through with all of the notifications, and then out of nowhere, your mentee becomes an active and goes to you.

What do we do next? Before we jump into a couple scenarios and give you some best practices, let's first explore a few reasons why mentees go unresponsive.

First could be they have low bandwidth. Maybe there's a lot of different pieces and projects going on and just not enough time in the day.

Maybe it's the time of year. There are holidays, vacations, maybe it's busy season. There could be a lot of approaching deadlines, large scale projects, or personal concerns.

This could be mental health transitions, even family concerns or physical health diagnosis, and it could be the mentorship connection.

Maybe the mentor already answered all of their questions and the mentee doesn't fully understand the value and mission of mentorship connections.

And it could also be that the mentorship connection wasn't as solid as we hoped. Through this training we're going to go through two different scenarios and discuss some best practices in how to address each one of these and even give you some templates along the way that you can use to engage your mentee again.

Common Reasons Mentees Become Unresponsive

Mentees can go unresponsive for any number of reasons. Most common we have seen include:

Bandwidth
Time of Year
Approaching Deadlines
Personal Concerns
Mentorship Connection

Our next videos will give recommendations for how to approach two scenarios in which mentees are unresponsive.

Scenario 1: No Response After Match

Mentor Training: Engaging Inactive or Unresponsive Mentees — Scenario 1 Video Transcript

The first scenario that we'll explore today is that your Minty completed their profile, went through the match process, but never responded to you.

Or in a Minty-driven program, they never sent you that first message to schedule your first meeting. I know this can be frustrating, but remember that this is not personal.

Here are a couple message prompts that you can customize and send to your Minty's in kind of some steps that you can follow.

Your first step is to check and make sure that you're reaching out to your mentees' communication preferences if these are provided in the profile form.

What I mean here is if they prefer an email, is that how you reach out? If they prefer a chat, via teens or slack or whatever operating system you use, try to reach out in that way.

Next is to follow up within a timely manner. So we at Qooper recommend that you reach out one week after the initial contact or one week after your match date.

Obviously you should follow your company's policies and your program administrators guidelines here as well. So if they have outlined something different, be sure to follow that.

Next would be to simulate an automation. This can be a low-risk way of getting a really quick response back from your mentee.

This could look like saying if you would like to continue with your mentorship program, please reply one. To unenroll from the program, please reply to.

This will give the mentee a very quick way to express if they are able to continue with the program without feeling any conflict.

If the Minty replies one to your message, you can use this as an opportunity to schedule your meeting right then and there.

Try to schedule the meeting within the next day or two to avoid losing momentum. You can also consider offering a couple meeting times rather than sending a link to the calendar, just to make it a little less confusing and a little more seamless.

You want to make this process as simple as possible to ensure success. If the Minty responds to that initial question, use your discretion to gather information.

You need most to report to your program administrator. so you can ask follow-up questions like would you be interested in being assigned to a new mentor, reply one?

If you're no longer interested for another reason, please reply with the reason for the separation within the program and then you can communicate that information to your program administrator.

Maybe see if you can get connected with another mentee.

Steps to Address No Response

If a mentee is not responding to your initial contact or has not reached out to you to schedule a meeting, here are a few steps you can follow to address this concern.

Step 1 > Check to make sure that you are reaching out to the mentee’s communication preferences if these were provided in the profile form. If they prefer an email, send an email. If they prefer a chat via teams, slack, etc., reach out in this way. As a last resort, you can also try reaching out via LinkedIn.

Step 2 > Follow up in a time frame approved by your program administrator. Qooper recommends following up one week after the initial contact.

Step 3 > If your mentee is still not responding after one week of your follow up email, consider reaching out with an email or message that is short and direct for a quick response.

“If you would like to continue with <insert your organization’s> Mentoring Program, please reply ‘1’. To unenroll from the program, please reply ‘2’.”

This will give the mentee an easy way to express if they are able to continue with the program without feeling conflict or pressure.

If the mentee replies “1” to your message, use this opportunity to schedule your meeting right away. Try to schedule the meeting within the next day or two to avoid losing momentum. Also consider offering a couple meeting times that work in your schedule to avoid back and forth in scheduling. Make this process as simple as possible to ensure success.

If the Mentee responds “2”, use your discretion to gather the information you need most to report to your program administrator. Here are some options to consider.

"Would you be interested in being assigned a new mentor? Reply 1."

"If you are no longer interested for another reason, please reply with the reason for separation from the program."

Scenario 2: Mentee Became Unresponsive After First Meeting

Scenario 2 Video Transcript

The second scenario that we will explore today is that you and your mentee had your initial meeting, but then the mentee went unresponsive.

First, you can pull from some information that you collected in your first meeting. Did they mention maybe having a large-scale project that they're working on, or that they're banned with this low, and then pull on some of that information to formulate questions?

If that's the case, maybe you can ask, is there an end in sight for your project? Would you like to schedule a meeting after your deadline, offer some options to help facilitate that connection and to build trust with your mentee?

You can also ask, how can I support you as your mentor in this hectic time? Maybe there's a resource that you can provide or a question that they may need answered.

So opening this dialogue and allowing an opportunity for them to ask questions can be very helpful in continuing to build your report.

You can also include a word of encouragement or support. In this hectic time you can be a sense of positivity in their workday.

So this is a great thing to practice as well. And within your meeting, maybe you had a spark or a sense of connection around a certain topic, you can also follow up with that item as well.

So, if they said that they were really interested in learning how to network, or they were really interested in building another skill, then you can send that within your follow-up message as well.

Just to say, I remember you were excited about practicing this or working on this skill and I'm excited to help you through that process.

This will remind them of the value that you offer as their mentor and hopefully peak their interest and bring them back to where they're scheduling meetings with you.

Another thing that you could explore is asking if they had expectations that weren't met or if maybe they would be interested in connecting with a different mentor.

This is rare but it can happen and opening that line of communication can make sure that the program is best serving them in tea.

No matter what, that is not a personal thing. It could just be that the the mentee had something else in mind for their connection and that's okay.

We just want to make sure that they feel fully supported and able to move forward with the program. If you're ever stuck, make sure to reach out to your program administrator for any questions and assistance.

They may have some more program specific advice to offer you and make sure to always utilize them as a great resource for you.

Ways to Re-Engage Your Mentee

Try to pull from your first meeting with your mentee to encourage meaningful conversations. Some examples that you can use to engage mentees could include:

Asking Questions

Is there an end in sight to your project?
Would you like to schedule a meeting after your deadline?
How can I support you as your mentor in this hectic time.

Include a Word of Encouragement or Support

I know you are working so hard on XYZ project. Your work here is invaluable to the company.

Spark

I remember you were really excited about XYZ. Let’s schedule a meeting to discuss this further.

Patience and Flexibility in Mentorship

Patience and Flexibility are essential to any Mentorship Connection. In this Module, we will explore some practical ways to enhance your patience and flexibility through your connection.

Developing Patience and Flexibility in Mentorship-1 Video Transcript

In a mentorship connection, it's very possible that you come upon a time where your connection isn't following up with you as quickly as you think they should or isn't delivering on some of the action items that they had outlined within your meetings.

This could be for any number of reasons, including some personal concerns, maybe they're banned with this low, maybe they have a lot of projects going on, maybe they're burnt out and they're having some trouble connecting with the mentorship experience.

Because of this reason, we're going to spend some time exploring patients and flexibility within mentorship.

Developing Patience and Flexibility in Mentorship-2 Video Transcript

Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay. With that being said, it's really inevitable that within any interpersonal connection or relationship, you are going to experience situations where you need to practice patience.

How do we even get started with that? Well, we have a list here of some action items that you can do to really practice patience in the workplace and through your mentorship connection.

First, you need to recognize when you feel impatient. Once you recognize it, then you can do something about it. So then you will take some time to reflect.

You can ask questions like, why is this bothering me? Are we really on a deadline or is this something that I put in place for myself and an expectation that I set for my connection?

And then ask, how can I be flexible here? We'll talk more about flexibility in our next module.

Upon reflecting, then it's your time to sit and adjust your expectations and perspective.

You can ask questions like, is there anything I can do to make this situation slightly better in this moment? Most conflicts or situations that arise within mentorship are not going to be an easy fix, it'll be something that continues over time.

So what's one action item or one thing that you can do to make the situation better? Could be a conversation, could be any number of things.

Take some time to really reflect on that and figure out what steps you can take to move forward.

Once you figure out your action items, then you allow space and take a step back for the other person within your connection to take the steps that they need to to move forward as well.

It has to be two-sided here. Remember that your timeline isn't the only timeline in play. There may be a lot of projects and deadlines that your connection is working with, so do your best to practice empathy, think about where they are in their journey, and then work to have patience in the meantime until they can get back to you.

This ability to practice patience will improve your connections with those around you within the workplace and within your mentorship connection while also showing that you have leadership potential and abilities.

How to Practice Patience in the Workplace

Step 1: Recognize when you feel impatient

Step 2: Reflect

Why is it bothering me?
Are we on a deadline? Or is it a deadline that I set for myself?
How can I be flexible here?

Step 3: Adjust expectations and perspective
Is there anything I can do to make this situation slightly better in this moment?
If so, define and take these steps. Then, allow space for the other person to connect with your action and take their own steps forward.

Developing Patience and Flexibility in Mentorship-3 Video Transcript

We all have our individual ways of doing things, and we tend to think that our way is the best way.

Right? Sometimes we should adjust our ways of showing up in different interpersonal situations, to suit the needs of the connection, the project, or the organization as a whole.

of your expectations and ideas for the good of the connection. How do we compromise in these scenarios? This can be really tough in practice.

Be patient with yourself as you grow through this process and remember practice makes progress. Through this video, we're going to take some time and walk through some action items that you can practice whenever developing flexibility with your connection.

If you notice a scenario where flexibility may be needed, your first step is to open a conversation with your connection.

You first need to understand the question or concern at hand. If you're not clear on what it is that you're trying to solve, how do you solve that problem?

You also must define your expectations and goals individually. So as a mentee, I should share what I want out of this connection.

As a mentor, you should also share what you want out of the connection and come together to figure out a way where you can meet both sides.

If those goals don't fully align, how do you create that solution? What you can do is you can create a new list of expectations and goals together.

Here are a couple things that you can think through while you are preparing for that conversation and actually walking through the process of creating these new goals and expectations together.

First, you want to be prepared for the conversation. You never want to walk into any meeting without an agenda, so this is a good time for you to reflect and think about what items you would like to chat about through that conversation.

Accept that change is inevitable, there are going to be some situations in your life where we do have to change our perspective and the way that we show up to these conversations.

This is a great opportunity for you to practice and get more comfortable with the change. On the other side of that is growth.

Be sure to have an open mind and be optimistic, always assume good intentions from your connection. It can be really easy to create a narrative that it's me versus them.

However, it's so much better to think about both of the people you and your connection versus the problem. This will shift your internal dialogue and allow for the best opportunity for solution at the end of the conversation.

In addition, you can practice active listening, try listening to understand instead of listening to respond. What I mean by that is when you listen to understand you're trying to fully wrap your head around what the person is trying to say, what they're feeling, rather than listening to give your opinion back.

Take a step back, try to practice empathy and put yourself in their position so that you can, again, come to the best solution possible.

Also be sure to stay calm. Sometimes these conversations can get a little heated. If you feel like you need to take a step back, cool off, and then come back, that's always good practice.

And then once you can actually determine a solution and a way forward for you and your connection. Celebrate that. Congratulate each other on being able to move forward in a way that's going to serve your connection.

And finally, just some reminders to leave you on. Mentorship is a small part of your connections role. They have a long list of other duties and responsibilities within their role.

So always be patient and flexible whenever it comes to scheduling meetings, returns on action items and so on. Remember that it's not personal.

There could be any number of reasons why they don't get back to you immediately, whether it's via email or again submitting some of those action items.

It's not a personal problem, so try to remember that as well. And also some things are not within our control.

So you can do your best to have these conversations, but at the end of the day there may be some situations where despite your best efforts your connection doesn't respond to you and that's not something that you can control So do your best and know that that's enough, no matter what.

How to Practice Flexibility in the Workplace

Step 1: Open a conversation with your connection

Understand the question or concern at hand.
Define expectations and goals.

Step 2: If your goals do not fully align, be flexible to create a new list of expectations and goals together.

Prepare for the conversation
Accept that change is inevitable
Be open minded and optimistic
Assume good intentions
Think People vs. Problem rather than Person vs. Person
Practice Active Listening
Listening to Understand vs. Listening to Respond
Stay calm

Step 3: Celebrate Solutions

Unrealistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations can be tricky to manage. The key is open communication and willingness to listen and compromise.
Expectations may seem realistic in the moment. It may not be apparent that expectations are in place until they are left unmet. In every day life, we see that various factors out of our control can affect our plans, ideas, and expectations. Work and mentorship connections are not exempt to these factors and nuances.
This training will help you ask questions and create a game plan to identify and redirect unrealistic expectations.

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Unrealistic Expectations -1 Video Transcript

Unrealistic expectations can be extremely harmful for your mentorship connection. So today we'll talk about how to create realistic expectations and actually address some of those unrealistic expectations before they become harmful to your connection.

Within setting realistic expectations, you first want to, probably in your first meeting, share the goal and mission of the program with your connection. You can have an open conversation surrounding your aligned personal mission and goal with your connection. What I mean by that is you want to share the goals and mission of your program.
So they have a mission, you also have a mission and vision within your connection. Make sure that those are aligned and connected in some way. And then share that alignment with your connection and make sure that they are also on the same pages you in what they're going to receive from the program.

Next is to be honest and authentic about your limitations. So as you go through your connection, you may find that, wow, I really came up on a busy season. I wasn't expecting it. So have a conversation with your connection about that limitation. Maybe it'll take you a little bit longer to get back to them. Maybe you aren't fully aware of all of the resources that are available within your company. So it's something that you have to do some research and then come back to them.

That's totally fine. Just provide a little bit of context and let them know what's going on within the process. And then you can also set intentions with your reply times. So you can in your first meeting or first few meetings addressed at what point should I send you a second email or a chat if I missed your message how long should I wait or how long should they wait before contacting you and then you can also share your preferred method of communication is it through Qooper is it through teams or a chat message is it via email and then you can follow up with the conversations in those mediums.

Always remember that you are human as you're trying to set expectations. Things will happen. It may seem possible to do something, but in reality it takes so much longer than you think, or it requires more energy or resources. When this happens, just have an open and honest conversation with your connection around the topic, and that will alleviate most of the problems just being open and honest.

When you identify an unrealistic expectation, oftentimes it is through conversations. You may hear your connection say something and think, oh, we're not really aligned on that. Or, oh, that isn't really possible. When you hear that, don't just let it go, address it in a kind way and just start asking more questions and then find somewhere in the middle where you can compromise and come together for a solution.

Let's take a moment to practice what this could look like. So let's say I'm a mentee in this program and I tell you as my mentor that I join the program so that I could receive a promotion and start working on your team. That may not be something that you can immediately act on, may be a great opportunity for networking and maybe something that you're open to, but it's not something that you can promise from the very beginning oftentimes.

So Rather than just kind of discounting it and moving on, you can say, okay, well, let's think about your skills, let's think about your resume. What are those things that you can tailor to help prepare this person for your team or prepare them for just the job search internally within the company, but without promising them a promotion or a transfer.
This way you're upskilling your mentee and giving them opportunity without false hope and false promise of being able to deliver on something that you may or may not be able to.

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To set realistic expectations with your connection, be sure to:

Share the goal and mission of the program with your connection.
Be honest and authentic about your limitations:
Time
Knowledge
Network
Set intentions for reply times
Remember that you are human. It may SEEM possible to do something, but in reality it may:
Take longer than you think
Require more energy or resources
Extend grace and be sure to have open and honest communication with your mentees.

Providing Feedback

For those who fear conflict and confrontation, feedback can be intimidating. This lesson will help you shift your focus to the opportunity that comes through providing and receiving feedback.

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Feedback 1:

Through your program you will find a time that you want to provide feedback to your connection. This training will give you a few steps and ideas to consider as you are providing feedback to your connection.

First we want to make sure that we're always focusing on the task a hand rather than the person whenever we're engaging in feedback.
You want to think about how could this task have been more efficient? more effective rather than the person who's actually doing it.

So that could mean that you are outlining a few different steps that the person could have taken maybe going through a process that is more standardized rather than saying you should have done the step the step the step in this order.

You can can also focus on giving tips and advice rather than a full-on evaluation. Evaluations can feel a little intimidating or scary, so rather than looking at feedback as an evaluation, you can say just quickly throughout your conversations, you can give snippets feedback as you go through your program.

Here are some questions to think through as you are kind of crafting these feedback experiences. First is if you were handling the situation, how would you have done it differently?

You can also ask what is one thing that I could do better next time to support you, that could be a really meaningful conversation through your mentorship connection.

And then what are other possible solutions that I'm missing? All of these are open-ended questions that promote engagement and connection.

And it's also important to be specific as you are giving feedback. Just providing a quick that didn't go well. What didn't go well?

Let's expand on this a little bit more and provide more context for your connection. Instead you can say this conversation didn't land how we hoped.
Could you share your rationale and the steps you took and then after hearing that you can find the gaps in their mental process of how they were working through this process and then provide feedback on how you would have changed things and did things a little bit differently than the way they did, giving advice rather than a full-on evaluation in practice.

And here's another example is rather than your goals look good, you can say Thank you for setting your goals and milestones within Qooper.
This will make it easy for me to track your progress.

Through this dialogue you're telling them what you appreciated about the steps that they took and then the impact that it had on your process and making your load a little bit lighter and easier to track as time goes on.

And finally I want to leave you with a quick story. So I heard this story one time and it really shifted the way that I view feedback and professionalism and just overall day-to-day life.

So one thing to remember is that it's always you versus you. This is a great thing to instill in your mentees or just as a lesson for you in general is you're only competing with yourself.
You're not competing with anyone else. So if you are going through a process and you receive some feedback think about how do I become one step better in this process.

An example that I like to use here is that 211 degrees is extremely hot water. It's very hot. It would burn but 212 degrees creates steam, the water boils, it creates steam, and steam will move a local motive.
So just that one step may not seem like a really big difference from day to day, but those one steps over time that one degree hotter over time will compound and really make a difference in your personal and professional life.

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Remember to focus on providing tips and advice rather than a full on evaluation.

Some questions you can ask or use to provide feedback include:
If you were to handle this situation, how would you have done it differently?
What is one thing I can do better next time?
What are other possible solutions that I am missing?